One day several years ago, while watching a cooking show in which the host advised viewers to bake a dish on a baking sheet “because you don’t want it to boil over and end up on the bottom of your oven,” my college roommate, Sara, and I both ruefully laughed out loud. And then Sara summed it up: “That is the bottom of our oven.” In our defense, the house had been only half-assedly cleaned before we moved in, and I’m certain that there was gunk in that oven from before our time. On the other hand, that time I overbeat an angel food cake and it erupted out of the bundt pan while baking? I probably should have wiped that up. But the average college student’s tolerance for squalor is well-documented, and we were no different: cleaning an oven was so low on our list of priorities that it never surfaced. At least, not until we moved out and wanted our damage deposit back. That’s when I was initiated into the mysteries of oven cleaning and learned, among other things, that oven cleaner is really nasty stuff. Several years and several laboriously retrieved damage deposits later, I went on a mission to find out how to clean an oven naturally, without harsh chemicals. My latest article describes a very effective method of doing just that.

-The Management

I’m torn. I own all kinds of products for cleaning furniture: upholstery cleaner, dusting spray, lemon oil. But now I know the dusting spray contains a neurotoxin, the lemon oil is actually petroleum-based mineral oil, and the upholstery cleaner has the potential to adversely affect my husband’s reproductive glands. As a person who turns the shampoo bottle upside-down to eke out every last drop, I’m tempted to use the stuff up anyway (which, let’s face it, could take years). But as a person who values my health and the health of the planet (not to mention the health of my husband’s testicles), I feel a responsibility to get those nasty chemicals out of my life immediately. I could do it easily, too, now that I know how to clean furniture with all-natural products that I already have on hand for other uses. It’s all explained in my latest article.

As a man, your biological imperative is to reproduce and create offspring. Even though we are fully aware of this, there still isn’t anything we can do to stop the oftentimes annoying little voice in the back of our heads telling us to get it on 24/7. And who would want to? An erection is just part of the process of sex, which goes as follows: flaccidity –> arousal – > erection –> penetration – ejaculation –> flaccidity. We all have erections. Seriously, there isn’t one guy who didn’t get a boner while staring at the drawings of genitalia in biology textbooks. It’s totally normal. Click here to read my full article How to Get Rid of an Erection.

Stripper stank, if you’re unfamiliar, is a very peculiar smell that can only be acquired one way: getting rubbed on by a stripper. The particular odor of a stripper is very distinct from that of other women. This gives the people around us the ability to immediately tell whether or not we have not only just been to a strip club but that we did in fact pay money to have our cock and balls rubbed and smashed by stripper grinds and hip thrusts.
I really enjoyed writing this article. Particularly the research portion. Life truly IS pretty awesome. Click here to read the full article How to Get Rid of Stripper Stank.

Stuffed animals or plush toys can mean a lot to kids. In fact, I still have one of the stuffed animals I had when I was a kid—Snoopy. My Snoopy spends a lot of time in a box in the closet. I don’t want to put him out, and I don’t want him to go away. I just want him to stay mine. Someday I may pass him on. But he is in rough shape. A couple holes and a few restitched seams. But he still plays Rock-a-bye Baby when I wind him up. I remember as a child holding him close as the tune played, feeling the music reverberating through Snoopy as the little music box tinged away. Snoopy has a few stains on him. But overall he is pretty clean. He doesn’t smell. So far as I know I have only drooled, not vomited, on Snoopy. Snoopy has moving internal parts, so he would be difficult to clean but not impossible. He would just have to be spot cleaned with quick rinses. Other toys that are submersible should be spot cleaned first, too, to get all the chunks off before a more thorough cleaning in the washing machine. Lastly, air drying is the best way to dry them. Read the full article, How to Clean Stuffed Animals, for detailed instructions.

Depression can be a touchy subject. Controversy enshrouds almost every aspect of the disease, from what causes it, to whether the standard treatments for it actually do any good, to whether it’s even a real thing. The answer to that last one, of course, is that if you’re feeling it, it’s real. And while it’s true that different treatments affect different people in different ways, and not every treatment will work for everyone, depression is by and large a very treatable illness. But that’s the thing: you have to seek treatment. Some people hesitate to open up to anyone about their depressed feelings, afraid that they indicate a weakness or personality flaw. But being ashamed of depression makes about as much sense as being ashamed of cancer. Depression is a disease, and if you want to get rid of depression, you have to treat it like a disease: that is, by seeing a doctor. My latest article explains various tactics for getting rid of depression that you and your doctor can discuss together. But you have to take that first step; depression is one thing you can’t get rid of on your own.

The Japanese have been kicking our butts technologically for a few decades now. In 1982, the Sony corporation released the very first CD player: the CDP-101. It sold for about $900. Then, 14 years later, the Sony corporation would come out with a new product: the DVD player. The Sony DVP-S7000 was built in Terre-Haute, Indiana, and sold for $970. Well, now it’s 2010, and I am using a DVD player I bought five years ago for $90 at Target. And it is a Sony. I keep it real. And to this day I have never once considered cleaning it. It has performed well. The reason I bought it was so I could watch movies and also listen to music. You see the DVD player played CDs better than the CD player would. If a scratched CD wouldn’t play on the CD player, there was a good chance it would play on the DVD player. Now, in the digital age, this sort of information is rather useless. No one listens to CDs anymore. And, in the not too distant future, no one will watch DVDs either. But until then at least we will be able to clean the DVD players.

Many people think that wearing a wristwatch is old fashioned, especially these days when everyone has a cell phone. As for me, I never wore one because I could never find one that I liked. That was until I got older. It was then that I realized I had just been looking in the wrong place. For pretty much everything. I had a friend who worked at a jewelry shop, and it was at this jewelry shop that I saw the first watch I had ever coveted. It was expensive, even with the Friends & Family Discount. But, you see, I have expensive taste, but it’s not like it was a Rolex or anything. Regardless, I caught a lot of grief from my parents. It’s funny how your parents can still say something to you that makes you feel like a little kid. Maybe not funny ha ha, but funny sad. Anyway The best way to clean a watch is going to begin with reading my article so get to it.